Practice Areas
DIVORCE ARTICLES
SEVEN FEELINGS CHILDREN FACE AFTER DIVORCE
There are seven feelings most children deal with after the facings of a
divorce. You may see they are facing troubles through bad behaviors such as
not cleaning their room, receiving bad grades in school, fighting with their
siblings, or worse of all, stealing, fighting or doing drugs.
When working with children to find out why their behavior has changed, it is
extremely helpful to understand what the child is going through. There are
several feelings that the child will experience and here is a list of some
that they may be dealing with after facing a divorce of their parents:
Anxiety
When a child faces an uncertainty in their life or a huge change, it is
natural that they will feel anxious. It is known that this is a smoke signal
in ourselves telling us that this is something we cannot control. When the
experience is overwhelming or big we may experience extreme or intense
anxiety. When we fear something or we are not clear on a situation, we will
experience anxiety. It can become really bad when a child does not know the
outcome of the situation they are dealing with.
Fear
Fear may be something we are afraid of, but mostly what we have no control
over. This may be a large psychological event or it may be a small one.
Anger
With children have their “normal” surroundings destroyed they usually
express this in anger or resentment. This will mess up their sense of
routine and change their sense of predictability. A child that is overloaded
or not coping with their feelings well will act out in angry outbursts.
Depression
After a divorce a child will most likely be sad and this is to be expected.
Someone showing sadness is a usual case in these circumstances. Although
when accompanied by hopelessness, helplessness or anger this suggest that
the child is going through depression. When a child does not communicate
their feelings with you, this is a likely to occur. Depression can lead to
many problems and can include a many of awful symptoms. Some are withdrawal
from the parents and loved ones or they may not want to do something that is
in their routine as usual such as playtime or other fun activities.
Traumatic Stress or Shock
A child’s reaction in divorce can be different from other siblings going
through the same thing. The trauma experience may vary and it is determined
by the child’s experience of the event, not the event itself. The time may
also vary from child to child. The cause of depression and anxiety during
this time may present itself by trauma. This may present itself especially
when a child misses the whole family unit, such as holidays or weekends when
the family usually spent time together.
Loneliness
This may be the most overwhelming of the symptoms children encounter after
dealing with a separation or divorce. It may also become very overwhelming
for children.
Loss or Grief
A child will sometimes experience divorce just like the death of a parent
with loss or grief. I know this sounds extreme, but sometimes a child can
feel this way. Counseling and talking with the child about their feelings
can help them understand that both parents are still there for them although
they may live separately.