Practice Areas
DIVORCE ARTICLES
Helping your Children deal with the Divorce
Going through a divorce can be the most traumatic experience in your lifetime. Your life can be turned upside down because of the separation or divorce. The changes in your emotion, social issues and finance can really be difficult. Divorce can be very hard on the family, but it can be a great deal worse for the children.
Studies demonstrate that the effect of a divorce on a child can be the same as when a child loses their parent. For many children there is a brief period of grief, sadness and turmoil. Some children will act out and even blame themselves for the separation or divorce. Some children will go as far as to think that the parent that left does not love them anymore. Some parents are so caught up in what is happening to them they do not see the damage that is going on with their children. You may see a change in your child’s schoolwork or issues dealing with their peers or their parents. This is usually a cry of help from the child that is desperate for the parents to recognize their grief.
Your family is very important to a small child. It can be an important element of stability. When you are separating the family unit it can be a very scary experience for them. Mom and Dad are the most important people in a child’s life. They provide much more than a home for the child. They provide, love, support and teach them things about life that are critical. It is important that they still provide these things through the divorce as well.
In women, studies show that when a parental divorce is connected to their life it can cause alcohol and drug use. This may also cause promiscuity, difficulty with maintaining long relationships and less self esteem. Girls tend to think it is their fault they have lost their father.
It is very important that you see these signs of depression or low self esteem in your child and confront them. Some children will isolate themselves. They may not want to be involved in activities that you may have known before caused them much joy. Some children have trouble sleeping. These are some of the symptoms that they may show when dealing with something so traumatic as divorce or a separation. It is up to you as a parent to show your children you are there for them during this time. They may not be able to cope well with the financial change as well. It is very important, even if it makes you sad and brings up memories of family time to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries and holidays just as before. These are important times to spend with your family and at this time they really need this stability in their life more than ever. These things will help your children in the long run from psychological damage that a divorce can bring. You will want to consider what is best for your child first and foremost. Working together on this common purpose will help ensure your child’s future is happy.