Practice Areas
DIVORCE ARTICLES
Do Children Get to Decide What Parent They Want to Live With?
A question that all parents ask when they are going through a divorce is
if the child gets to decide which parent they want to live with.
Unfortunately, it is not as easy to answer. There are two answers, not just
one.
If the child is under the age of fourteen, they are not allowed to make the
decision on their own. If the child is over the age of fourteen, however,
they are interviewed by the court. After the interview by the parenting
coordinator or a court appointed coordinator, the interviewer will then take
what the child said and his or her opinions on the matter into consideration
while discussing it with the parents on where the child should live.
It is determined in most states that a child under the age of fourteen cannot make the decision by him or herself on where they want to live. On the other hand, if they are over the age of fourteen, they have the mental faculties to make such a decision.
The parents also have the right to put in their input on where they would like the child to live. The court will also ask the parenting coordinator if there is an influence on the child’s decision of where they want to live. They will also ask if they think that the child can go back and forth from one parent to the other.
The worse case is when the parents have just divorced and there is a
child that does not want to go to the other parents home. There are usually
several reasons for this and it could have nothing to do with the divorce.
It could be that they just don’t want to go. Then the parent will think that
they need to change the parenting plan, but this is not a good decision. No
matter you still need to support the other parent even if you are no longer
married.
When the child is under the age of fourteen, remember you will need to make
a decision as mother and father to the child, not as husband and wife. In
most cases, the court will not make any changes to the visitation decisions
unless there is some severe psychological or domestic violence abuse to the
child from that parent.
As you see the child does not really have that much decision making in either case. They are still kids and the courts see them as this. You still need to be their parent. If the child wants to move it is your duty to make sure it’s a good decision for them. You will want to ask yourself questions, even if it is a move to your home. Is it best for them? Do they want to move for the right decisions? Will this affect the family in anyway? Most important, you will want to remember that even though you are getting a divorce, you are still family.